Struggling to let go of obsessive love? Learn how to detach from toxic love, find peace, and step into your self-love era with these powerful healing tips.
Hey bestie,
If you clicked on this, I already know—you’ve been there. Obsessive love. That deep, consuming, can’t-breathe-without-them kind of love. The kind that makes you overthink every text, replay every moment, and forget who you even are without them.
And let me tell you, I’ve been there too. As a single mom since 19, I used to think love had to be all-consuming to be real. I held onto relationships that drained me because I thought attachment meant love. Spoiler: it doesn’t. And once I learned how to detach and find peace, my entire life transformed.
✨ Before we dive in, grab my FREE Pinterest to Dream Life Guide to start creating your dream life this year! Because healing isn’t just about letting go—it’s about making space for something way better. 💖
Now, let’s get into it, because bestie, you are way too powerful to let toxic love steal your glow.
What is Obsessive Love?
Obsessive love isn’t just deep love. It’s love that feels like an addiction. It’s when:
🚩 You can’t stop thinking about them—like, ever
🚩 Your mood depends on their attention
🚩 You lose yourself in the relationship
🚩 You feel like you need them to be happy
🚩 You ignore red flags just to keep them around
Sound familiar? It’s okay, bestie. You’re not alone. And you’re definitely not stuck here forever.
How to Heal from Obsessive Love & Find Peace
1. Accept That Love Shouldn’t Hurt Like This
Love isn’t supposed to drain you, make you anxious, or feel like a rollercoaster. If you’re constantly overthinking, feeling insecure, or chasing their validation—that’s not love. That’s a trauma bond.
💖 Ask yourself: Am I chasing love, or am I chasing validation?
2. Detach by Reclaiming Your Power
Detachment isn’t cold or mean. It’s self-respect. You don’t need to beg, prove, or overextend yourself for someone who doesn’t value you.
💖 How to detach:
✨ Block, mute, unfollow. No “one last text.”
✨ Focus on yourself, not them. What makes you happy?
✨ Remember: Their absence will not destroy you. It will free you.
3. Romanticize Your Own Life Instead
I know it feels like you’ll never feel this way about anyone else. But you know what? That’s because you’re putting all your energy into them instead of yourself.
✨ Shift the energy back to YOU.
💖 Start journaling. What do you actually want in life?
💖 Get dressed up for YOU. Skincare, makeup, cute outfits—because you deserve it.
💖 Create a daily glow-up ritual. Move your body, eat nourishing food, and make your space a vibe.
Obsessive love fades when you start falling in love with your own life.
4. Stop Idealizing Them & See Them Clearly
Let’s be real: they’re not that special. Your brain is romanticizing the good parts and blocking out the bad.
💖 Do this exercise: Write down all the times they made you feel unloved, insecure, or not enough. Read it back. Would you want your best friend in this relationship? No? Then why are you accepting it?
5. Heal the Root Cause of Your Attachment
Obsessive love often comes from childhood wounds. Maybe you had emotionally unavailable parents or felt unworthy of love growing up. So now, you attach to people who make you prove your worth.
💖 Reparent yourself:
✨ Speak to yourself with love. “I am enough exactly as I am.”
✨ Stop chasing. The right love will never make you beg.
✨ Go to therapy, read books on attachment styles, and learn what healthy love looks like.
6. Create a Future That Excites You
Instead of asking “How do I get over them?” ask: “What kind of life do I want to create?”
✨ Create new routines. Try new hobbies, travel, meet new people.
✨ Set goals that make you excited. What’s something you’ve always wanted to do?
✨ Use my Accountability Bestie 12-Week Planner to stay focused on your glow-up. It’s a daily check-in planner to help you finally achieve your dream goals.
The best way to heal? Build a life that feels so good, you forget why you were ever crying over them.
You Deserve More Than Obsessive Love, Bestie
Healing is hard. I won’t lie. But staying in a toxic cycle where you’re constantly overthinking, hurting, and feeling unworthy? That’s so much harder.
✨ Choose yourself. Every single day.
✨ Detach, heal, and step into your glow-up era.
✨ Fall in love with your life—and never settle again.
Which step are you starting with today? Drop a comment below—I’d love to hear from you!
Xo, Chelsea Elise
